“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness”
“Only love can lift the veil, the veil away.”
-Tina Malia song “The Silent Awakening”
Hello again. It’s been a long time … 13 days to be exact. I had planned on blogging about this juicy journey I’m on every day of the way, but as with any good journey, I got lost within it and had to concentrate on exploring the path before I could meet you again here, at this place of insight. You see, I had to get into the woods before I could tell you about the trees so to speak.
So for those of you out there (and thank you for making yourselves known) forgive me for the break in posts and thank you for encouraging me to continue to co-explore on this journey with you. Knowing that I’m not alone on this trip makes all the difference in the world to me. Really. And that is why I have found my way back here to tell you all about my days of juicy goodness and badness (only apparently while in the darkness of the forest).
I know that some of you are considering embarking on your own juicy journeys (do it, do it!) and others of you are just curious on why and what could come out of such a wild experiment. For all of you, I will do my best to cover the full gamut of my experience, from the nitty-gritty everyday things I’ve been doing (other than just making and drinking a ton of juice!) to my emotional breakdowns (yes, I do have them!) and spiritual breakthroughs (yes, they have happened!).
One question that has come up for me since starting to blog and that seems to be a common concern for people when I talk to them about the thrill of this new world is the question of privacy. I’ve been mulling over it and for me it’s quite simple: I really don’t care about privacy. In fact, I think the obsession with independence and privacy as individuals and as a nation just creates lonely people and a country that invests way too much in military defense (I won’t get into political talk here other than to say I stand for non-violence and peace!).
In my experience, being private and holding back just keeps me locked within the illusion that I’m alone and that we are separate. And if that’s the cost then I hereby forsake my privacy. I choose to know and feel our unity.
Why are we in this life together anyway?! I think we’re here to co-explore, co-play, and co-create (i.e., love) so that we can help one another evolve and awaken. So I’m lifting my veil and offering these writings in total honesty, in hope that I don’t offend or shock anyone, and with a happy knowing that expression benefits us all ♥
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Extreme Self-Care
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” -Lucille Ball
I would have liked to have had Lucy around during my formative years. She seems like she knew a thing or two about self-love. And I don’t think that is an area a lot of women know about. My role models growing up were wonderful, caring and loving but self-love … uh, no. And you can’t teach what you don’t have. So it is that I’ve inherited, as did the women before me this strange self-aversion/”I’m not okay” story that I’ve been playing out for the last 20+ years in a colorful plot of vain attempts at achieving even an inkling of self-acceptance and peace.
I’ll spare you the details but I bet you can imagine some of the more colorful episodes have involved undertaking many self-improvement/”body-projects” to attract the affection of a guy named Prince Charming who in exchange was supposed to make me feel happy, loved and worthy. I have a very vivid imagination and I really believed in that guy and that deal and then … well okay, I’ll stop here.
I’m not jaded, I’ve just lived enough to know that love is an inside job. You gotta love yourself before another can really love you or you can love another. Now, that’s a more functional story.
To make matters worse, not only are we not modeled self-love but some of us are intentionally told to keep our beauty/light/love in … to tone it down, be modest, blend with the group. As a spirited girl I was often reprimanded for being “too much” and told I was selfish when I was just vibrant and happy and not a shrinking violet. I’m sure my grandmother had the best intentions for my social development but the sticky residue of shame it left behind has and continues to require some serious cleansing!
But all is well in this kingdom, because as in any good story there are other savior characters (beside our birth families and that unreliable Prince Charming) who come into our lives and illuminate our path and I’ve been blessed to have had many friends, teachers, books and experiences that have inspired me toward self-love.
There are too many to list here but this gem of a teaching from Marianne Williamson pretty much sums it up:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Beautiful eh? But even with this kind of inspiration I must admit I still have a little voice of criticism that insists that a process like Juice Feasting is totally self-indulgent and warns that I’m in great danger of becoming irrevocably vain and self-absorbed. Ha!
I acknowledge her (I have learned this much about working with my ’shadow’) but I’m not giving her power. Someone else is in charge now and she has no shame about taking care of herself and fully understands the love starts within principle. In fact, she loves to luxuriate in self-care! Extreme self-care. Extreme as in different from my previous norm of self-neglect. I’m just getting to know her but I quite like her already …
I’m going to pick this back up in the next few days ’cause I think this is plenty for one post! I’m trying to pace myself.
Up Next: Getting into the nitty-gritty physical stuff (easiest to get the writing juices flowing with) then moving on to my juicy emotional breakdowns and spiritual breakthroughs …
And since playing with photos and music is just so much fun I leave you with a trip into the last 20 days of my Juicy Journey:
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And voilà, this is what 4 quarts of juice/my daily nourishment looks like: 
My Wondrously Vibrant Bountiful Fridge
Love, Affirmations & Photos of People I Love.
For the Procrastinator
The Supporting Cast